LGBTQA Programs & Services TransGuide: Tips on Being a Transgender Ally
- Use the language of the individuals with whom you are interacting. If you make a mistake, apologize and try to be as consistent as possible.
- Refer to transgender individuals by the pronoun appropriate to their presented gender. If you are not sure, ask them what they prefer. Be as consistent as possible.
- Do not out someone without their permission. Respect confidentiality.
- Know your own biases. Will it prevent you from treating this person the way you would anyone else? If you provide services, will it prevent you from giving the same services to a transgender person as any other individual?
- Do not expect a transgender person to be the resident transgender expert. As with any group, there is a lot of diversity within the trans community.
- Don’t assume you know what someone’s gender or sexuality is.
- Become comfortable with fluidity. Be patient with a person who is questioning their gender identity. Even someone who is comfortable with a transgender identification may be fluid in their sex/gender identity.
- Have all gender restrooms.
- Admit when you don’t know something.
- Don’t be afraid to apologize.
- Do not sensationalize or sexualize trans bodies.
- Create a visibly welcoming environment.
- Deal with feelings first. Listening when a person is coming out or dealing with a painful experience can be very helpful.
- Know your own limits. When you have reached the limits of your own knowledge or patience, refer to an appropriate resource.
- Don’t define someone else. Everyone has the right to choose the identities they feel best suit them. Helping individuals find the best and most appropriate resources and information to be able to make informed decisions is a way to be supportive.
- A transgender person who chooses to go through hormone therapy or sex re-assignment surgery will have to endure a long and possibly frustrating process to obtain the required medical approval to receive hormones or surgery.
- Transitioning is a big change. Be patient.
- Clothing choices or appearance may or may not reflect a person’s gender identity.
- Trust that a person’s decision to present themselves as a gender different from their birth gender is not made lightly or without due consideration.
- It is inappropriate to ask a transgender person how s/he has sex or what their genitals look like.
- Do not assume you know what a transgender person’s sexual orientation is.
- Remember that all people are individual human beings who deserve respect and understanding.
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Contact Information
Assistant Director
Pat Tetreault, Ph.D.
472-1752
ptetreau@unlnotes.unl.edu
200 Nebraska Union
